The Crack Is Closing

In his recent newsletter, “A Crack in Your Phone,” Brother Asi shared his young daughter’s fervent wish that there was a crack in his phone so that, when he was out of town, she could crawl through the crack and be with him face to face rather than just talking to him through the medium of a screen. In reminding us of the dangers of unwittingly exchanging the wonders of real life and presence for the virtual fabrications presented through technology, Brother Asi noted that part of our responsibility as parents is “to keep the lived, breathed, touched, smelt, and felt drama of life more precious than the dazzling simulacrum.”

This responsibility becomes ever more pressing in light of the fact that continuing developments in AI (artificial intelligence) are insuring that the crack in the phone is inexorably closing for a whole generation of young people.

AI Companions: The New Substitutes for Relationship

Marketed as a way to address the epidemic of loneliness resulting from the loss of face-to-face relationships in a digital culture where almost everyone communicates exclusively via digital devices, the technology wizards have developed AI chatbots, companions that possess human-like features and that can initiate conversations with the users connected to them. We have moved from the situation where “friends” on social media replaced real-life friends to the reality that chatbot “relationships” are promoted as daily companions that offer friendship, advice, role playing, social interaction and relationship, romantic interactions, and emotional support.

According to research by Common Sense Media, 72 percent of teens have used AI companions at least once, over half use these platforms at least a few times a month, one in three find conversations with AI companions as satisfying or more satisfying than those with real-life friends, and a third have chosen to discuss important or serious matters with AI companions. Some of these platforms are marketed to children as young as 13 years of age.

The Consequences Already Emerging

As has been the case with the disastrous effects of social media on youngsters (skyrocketing numbers of children with depression, anxiety, self-harm, and suicide), there have already been tragic cases resulting from AI companions, including a 14-year-old boy who committed suicide after becoming emotionally attached to his AI companion, a 19 year old who was encouraged to commit murder, and a 17 year old who became socially isolated and violent after engaging with chatbots.

In 2025 Reuters published a verified leaked internal document from Meta that revealed AI policies explicitly permit chatbots to engage children in “romantic or sensual” conversations. (A Meta spokesman said the document has since been revised but has not disclosed exactly what the revisions are.) In addition, the behavioral data that is generated by private AI companion conversations is not protected. Common Sense Media notes that AI companions “pose unacceptable risks for users under 18, easily producing responses ranging from sexual material and offensive stereotypes, to dangerous ‘advice’ that, if followed, could have life-threatening or deadly real-world impacts.” They recommend that no one under 18 use AI companions.

The Role of Parents and the Church

Our church policy book, Protecting Children from Abuse, contains the guideline: “No private digital access.” Given my years of research on the effects of technology, I am convinced that the most dangerous avenue of abuse to our children comes from online access. I just read an essay by a former FBI agent who warned parents not to be complacent about their children’s access to the internet. He had been charged with investigating a deluge of horrific crimes resulting in mutilation and suicide, initiated by individuals in a group that preys on vulnerable children with mental health problems.

When “Harmless” Platforms Are Not Harmless

It would be a mistake to assume that platforms such as Instagram, Pinterest, Snapchat, and X are harmless for our children. Self-harm, suicide, and pornography can all be accessed through these sites. I just read an essay by a 14-year-old girl who attempted suicide and who said, “Everything I learned about suicide I learned on Instagram.” Be aware of the role of algorithms in responding to even a minimal number of clicks on a particular website.

In ruling on the cause of death of a 14-year-old girl, Molly Russell, in England, the coroner noted that, in addition to the social media sites that provided “access to images, video clips and texts concerned with self-harm and suicide . . . the algorithms used by social-media sites Instagram and Pinterest meant some content was selected and provided for Molly without her requesting it.” He stated that “the thousands of images that these algorithms served up to Molly . . . contributed to her death in a more than minimal way.”

The Ubiquity of Pornography

At a time when smartphones are the most common way to access pornography, 73 percent of teens have viewed pornography, over half of whom first viewed it when they were 13 years of age or younger. This does not just happen on dedicated porn sites. Many access pornographic content on Instagram, X, Snapchat, Discord, Twitch, and TikTok. Given the way that online content is presented, young children may be exposed to pornography accidentally.

A 16-year-old girl relates how, at the age of ten, she stumbled across an explicit pornographic site by accident—a website to which she returned out of curiosity. At 16 years of age, she warns that the majority of her peers are addicted to pornography. Most adolescents who have viewed pornography have viewed content that is extremely violent and aggressive. Not surprisingly, a 2023 analysis of five studies showed that children and adolescents exposed to sexual content have higher odds of engaging in problematic sexual behaviors.

Gaming and the Culture of Violence

A most troubling aspect of online engagement, including video games, is that it results in widespread interaction with anonymous adults (including sexual predators). In 2023, Roblox (an online platform where users create and play games) reported over 13,000 instances of child exploitation.

With regard to the time spent on interaction with video games, 97 percent of boys average two hours a day, some four to six hours a day. Over 15 percent of males end up as problematic or addicted users. Heavy gaming is related to higher rates of depression. Researchers warn that present-day video games now include user-generated content. Consequently, they often portray extreme and inappropriate content, including wildly inappropriate pornographic content. A 2023 survey found 51 percent of adolescent gamers had been exposed to hate-based harassment, incitement to discrimination, and violence in online games.

Despite the propaganda from the multi-billion-dollar video-game industry, hundreds of studies showed that there is a significant association between exposure to media violence and aggressive behavior, angry thoughts, physiological arousal, and desensitization to violence.

Conclusion

We should not be apologetic or complacent about shielding our children from digital technology. It is one of the most effective ways by which we can prevent them from physical, emotional, and spiritual harms.

— Kay Toombs, PhD

Back-up references to material quoted available on request.